Rantings Of A Menopausal Mom

Written by a left-leaning WASP Buffalo mom. IN SUPPORT OF peace, same-sex marriage (AKA marriage for all), education, environment. RANTING ON the current administration, people who litter, people who swear on their cell phones while walking down the street, bad drivers, racists, heterocentrists, and jerks to be identified as we go along.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Marriage Protection... protected from whom?

I'm a straight, married, soon-to-be pastor's wife, and I'm trying to figure out this Marriage Protection thing.

Who's protecting my marriage to Lex, and from what? Is it like real estate values? If gays get to marry, "there goes the neighborhood"?

Will our marriages actually lose intrinsic value? If so, does the whole institution trade on Wall Street?

Tell you what, I'll be happy when my sisters-in-law, Sharon and Linda, who have been together longer than any of the "straight" marriages in our entire family, can simply get "that little piece of paper."

I don't mean that CHURCHES should be FORCED to marry gay people if they don't want to. That's the scare tactic a lot of pastors are using: "We will have Adam and Steve in OUR CHURCH, both wearing veils, saying that since it's legal, they can get married anywhere they want."

It's not true! First off, it's about the marriage license, not the ceremony - in other words, the legally binding civil contract, not the wedding. Secondly, God help us if the Federal Government ever has so much power that they can tell churches what to do, ever!

Finally, to all my Christian friends who believe that gays will (and should) burn in Hellfire: If that's where all my friends are going, as well as Buddha and Mahatma Gandhi and Emma Goldman and practically anyone else who doesn't fit your definition of "Christian," then I guess I'm going, too, along with the entire United Church of Christ, the Unitarians, and a whole lot of other folks.

Jesus said, "Love your God and love your neighbor as you love yourself." If we're not getting that right, we're not really following Jesus.

Amy Barlow Liberatore
Mom for Marriage Equity
"All You Need Is Love" (John Lennon will be burning in hell too, I guess...)

Monday, October 31, 2005


Perfect timing.

Everyone is pretending to be something tonight. Something they're not, or something they are deep inside.

It's the night when some of my guy friends got to dress in drag and not be beat up. When girls could zoot suit and not get made fun of (although, let's face it, women dressing as men has been fashionable for... forever).

I haven't posted in a while because I'm a bit discouraged. The groundswell of support for gay and lesbian marriage isn't what I'd hoped for, especially among my fellow straights, who are the reason I started this damned blog in the first place.

Anyone out there who has actually made a phone call to their legislators or to Buffalo's incoming mayor, please post and let me know. (Which candidate, you say? C'mon, we all know it's gonna be Byron Brown, and he's simply NOT on board, which is ironic, since his strongest support comes from the East Side, where the Down Low is epidemic, thanks to the shame factor preached by many conservative pastors who support... Byron. Sick little circle, that one.)

So post. Let me know I'm getting through. Thanks.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Vicky Vogue Vaudeville

I sang and played at a Vicky Vogue Vaudeville show last night. Vicky only goes her act for charity, which right away tells you she’s my kind of female impersonator.
Such a nuanced topic: drag, female impersonation, as opposed to intergendered, transgendered, as opposed to crossdressing hetero, as opposed to... too many straight people give up and just can’t relate to any of it, and they are really missing out – especially the VVV shows. She has straight performers as well as LGBTQCIT (did I miss anything there?).
I’ve noticed a generational divide of sorts concerning drag acts. Many younger people, especially the gay men I know, are so “OVER the rainbow,” they refuse to attend any shows that feature drag. Others only like the modern style, which is so “femme” that you can hardly tell there was a boy inside at some point: implants, hormones and plastic surgery have blurred the lines of gender.
While I used to struggle with the concept of intergendered and transgendered people, I’ve been educated by friends like Michelle and read some books (including texts that Lex read for pastoral studies at Colgate Rochester Crozer. I found out that the old adage of “XX=female and XY=male” barely scratches the surface of the complexities of gender. We are, every single one of us, a big stewpot of Xs and Ys, in various amounts and configurations. (Fascinating, no? This must explain my fondness for grilling, as well as my taste in shoes!)
Back to Vicky. She’s “old school,” which doesn’t mean OLD by any means – she has the heart and humor of a little kid – a little kid in gold-sparkled high heels and a shocking pink bouffant! Vicky is the kind of act my mom used to see, the kind I used to attend in the early 80s: Show tunes and BIG wigs. Wigstock kind of drag. Big and bawdy and so obviously Y-chromosome-endowed (!) under the gown. No “Crying Game” surprises here, strictly in-your-face entertainment by performers who not only love Judy Garland, they can lip-synch the entire version of “Dear Mr. Gable, You Made Me Love You,” with the spoken verse that starts off, “Oh gee, Mr. Gable, I don’t wanna bother you...” (Yeah, I know, I know. I do the same song, the only difference being I don’t lip-synch and my clothes are WAY less spectacular. But the devotion is the same for us all.)
Riding up in the elevator, I met up with my buddy Jim, along with his friend Jeff – who was lugging a guitar and little amp. “Gosh,” said Jim, surveying all the equipment on the floor of the elevator, “I feel like we should be followed by seven children.” I asked why, and Jim smiled, “Because we look like the Von Trappes!” We cracked up, and then Jeff (a man young enough to be my son) said, “What’s a Von Trappe?”
“No, seriously, hon, the Von Trappes, you know, The Sound of Music.” A blank stare.
I felt seriously old! The generation gap we used to bitch about? I’m now the cause!
Anyway, more on Vicky in the next posting... but like I said, my kind of human being. Vicky will do benefits for any cause, any theatre that has experienced funding cutbacks. God bless her. Oh – and my pastor and his wife LOVED the show! Go, Vicky, go!!

Monday, September 19, 2005

The Down Low

I'm trying to figure out how I, a straight old white lady, feel about the Down Low. It's a huge problem here in Buffalo, especially in the African-American community (this from a rep from the MOCHA Project, the Men Of Color Health Awareness Project) To be simplistic, the first two points, for me, at least, are:

First, it's cheating. Simple as that. Cheating on your partner - on two partners. Your wife and your male lover.

Second, it's lying to yourself. A straight man who happens to sleep with men on occasion? Rationalization. And it's dangerous as hell for the wife, who is not aware of the full situation. Read on before you think I'm just a self-righteous asshole, because I really do feel for men on the DL.

Here's the worst part... pastors who condemn homosexuality from the pulpit. The shame laid on folks who are already confused about their gender identity as it is. And if they go to the pastor privately, they will undoubtedly be told they can be cleansed of this sinful nature by the blood of Jesus (yeah, I shower in it all the time, I mean, I'm gonna be a pastor's wife, right?); they can pray their way back to "straightness," as though that's the only way to be. This lie, this concept that holds so many men and women and intergendered people back from living their lives fully and without guilt or shame, this lie comes FROM THE PASTORS.

I'd love to have a dialog with any pastor who cares to take this on. Throw all the Leviticus and Deuteronomy at me you want: The Jesus of the New Testament was all about love, compassion, and standing with the disenfranchised. Jesus said, "Love." And if any pastor thinks that condemning anyone from the pulpit is showing LOVE, they ought to pray about that. Maybe the Holy Spirit will give them a good smack on the side of the head and set them... straight?!

Friday, September 09, 2005

C'mon, Gov. Schwartzenegger, do the right thing

Sign the legislation! Allow consenting couples to legally marry.

Honestly, everyone thinks the world as we know it will come to an end if same-sex marriage is made legal.

The only thing that will come to an end with the passage of same-sex marriage legislation is that a whole bunch of people will finally get their civil rights. If you don't like Same Sex Marriage, that's fine... just date and marry people ONLY of the opposite sex. You don't have to attend any gay marriages, you don't have to watch couples swap spit in the grocery store. (I hope, anyway. I don't want to see ANYONE, gay or straight, making out. It's gross.)

California is poised... now if only their governor shows some class!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

The Constitution and amendments

The last time the Constitution was amended to CURTAIL anyone's rights, it was Prohibition, which was eventually repealed.

There is a movement afoot (it's being downplayed until all the chess pieces are in alignment) to amend the US Constitution to ban same-sex marriage. This would not only override states' rights... it would cement prejudice against a select group of Americans (remember Brown Vs. Board?). Sure, it may be overturned later on, but it still stinks that we seem to have learned nothing from the Prohibition fiasco (and, to continue the analogy, how an amendment banning same-sex marriage would continue to drive DownLow men underground, furthering straight wives' exposure to STDs and HIV. I wish some of our local Buffalo officials understood the gravity of this situation, how close it hits to home.)

Watch for this amendment push, courtesy of the Bush Administration (or perhaps Frist? Now that Diebold electronic/computerized voting booths are becoming the standard, we can always rest assured that the proper Republican candidate will win!). And in the meantime, please call your state and federal representatives to say:


If you like this blog but haven't made the calls yet, get offline and pick up the damned phone!! Especially you straight bloogers! Our elected officials need to hear from you, and you need to tell them you ARE straight. Some bonehead politicians think that Same Sex Marriage support is only coming from gays and lesbians.

Now, go pick up that phone! Amy

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Pat's site has great stuff

Check out my friend Pat's blog for great info, including "12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Not Be Legal" (1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural)

Also a great link to the Advocate article on the Boy Scouts.