The Down Low

I'm trying to figure out how I, a straight old white lady, feel about the Down Low. It's a huge problem here in Buffalo, especially in the African-American community (this from a rep from the MOCHA Project, the Men Of Color Health Awareness Project) To be simplistic, the first two points, for me, at least, are:

First, it's cheating. Simple as that. Cheating on your partner - on two partners. Your wife and your male lover.

Second, it's lying to yourself. A straight man who happens to sleep with men on occasion? Rationalization. And it's dangerous as hell for the wife, who is not aware of the full situation. Read on before you think I'm just a self-righteous asshole, because I really do feel for men on the DL.

Here's the worst part... pastors who condemn homosexuality from the pulpit. The shame laid on folks who are already confused about their gender identity as it is. And if they go to the pastor privately, they will undoubtedly be told they can be cleansed of this sinful nature by the blood of Jesus (yeah, I shower in it all the time, I mean, I'm gonna be a pastor's wife, right?); they can pray their way back to "straightness," as though that's the only way to be. This lie, this concept that holds so many men and women and intergendered people back from living their lives fully and without guilt or shame, this lie comes FROM THE PASTORS.

I'd love to have a dialog with any pastor who cares to take this on. Throw all the Leviticus and Deuteronomy at me you want: The Jesus of the New Testament was all about love, compassion, and standing with the disenfranchised. Jesus said, "Love." And if any pastor thinks that condemning anyone from the pulpit is showing LOVE, they ought to pray about that. Maybe the Holy Spirit will give them a good smack on the side of the head and set them... straight?!